Skip to main content


Okay internet friends, I'm sure most of you know by now that thanksgiving holiday is nearly upon us. Like a beast from the depths it rises up, consuming the wooden ships of our pocketbooks. Like the great Krakken, it's tentacles of turkey en-wrap my innards with their tasty goodness. The great white mash potato shark eagerly gulps down the last remaining survivors of my will power. I am once again looking forward to being nearly crushed under my own massive weight after another feeding frenzy.

It's at this point that I'd like to make the announcment that I am starting a new holiday to compete with this yearly juggernaut of gravy and meat. I am calling it "Thankstaking." If you read that quickly it looks kind of like thanks stalking, which we'll get to later. I'm tired of the endless parade of people sucking up to each other, thanking each other for each menial deed done over the course of the year. If there's one thing I hate, it's a brown noser. Whenever someone thanks me for something on thanksgiving, my first thought is, "okay, what do you want." Usually they demand thanks from me in return. Well fat chance. What has humanity ever done for me? I'm short, fat, and whenever I go out with my wife everyone assumes it's either a "mercy date" or we're "best friends." Thanks but NO THANKS humanity. No one here deserves my thanks. Not ever. None of you have done anything for me. And THAT my friends, is the spirit in which thankstaking will be celebrated.

Here's how it works. Pick out anyone you know and go up to the shouting, "YOUR WELCOME FOR ALL OF THE AWESOME STUFF I'VE DONE FOR YOU THIS YEAR NOW LET ME SHOW YOU MY GRATITUDE FOR ALL THE WONDERFUL THINGS YOU'VE DONE FOR ME!!!" Then rush the food table and knock it over screaming meat is murder, save the carrots and potatos!

Actually, that's a stupid idea. I apologize to whoever read this far. Really, thank you to all two of you who read this for the nice things you've said and done for me this year. Here's to another year of you all doing the same thing ;)

In other news, Johanna Forster is marrying John Conser. Johan Santana was named the NL cy young winner. John Knox is my favorite preacher. Coincidence? I don't think so.

Image Hosted by


Popular posts from this blog

Is it time for an Italian American President?

Rudy Giuliani has thrown his hat in the ring for the 2008 Presidential race. For those of you who don't know, Mr. Giuliani was one of the driving forces behind the gangland prosecutions of the 5 New York Mafia families. His skillful maneuvering of the revolutionary RICO statutes helped break the Italian Mafia's strangle-hold on New York and surrounding area's. I will wholeheartedly support Rudy Giuliani as President and I'll tell you why.

With the tragedy of 9/11 came a shift in focus from the drug war and fighting organized crime, to "Homeland Security." Ironicaly, along with this shift in focus, came a relaxation of the former hard nosed pursuance of drugs and crime. No longer did the Organized Crime Task Force receive priority funding and adequate staffing. They are back to the dark ages of the 1960's in terms of quality enforcement officials.

Once again, drugs and organized crime threaten our nation from within. The Russian, Albanian, Dominican…

This is important

I'm learning a lot of things and having a lot of things thrown at me as I start my own business.  I thought I would write about the most important lesson I've learned so far.

You cannot succeed, truly succeed, in life/business whatever, without the support of your wife.  If you're spending all your waking time trying to make a business work and your wife isn't 100% behind you, you're headed for failure.  Plain and simple.

Now, I'm writing this from the perspective of a human male, with a wife, but I'm sure the operation is the same if reversed.  Ladies, if you're considering a field to buy it, and your husband isn't behind the purchase with you, chances are that purchase is going to create some strife.

What I'm talking about here seems pretty common sense.  However, I think we assume it's common sense and don't think about it as much as we should.

If I am going to commit to making a business successful and profitable, I've got to h…