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That big silver screen in the sky

Some guys and I decided to read through the Belgic confession this year. I know what you're thinking: "But Jesse! You never finish anything!" You're right to say that internet person, and thank you for stating it. Now it's out there, you can shut up.

Anyway, the last article talks about the end of days and how everyone will be milling around on judgment day getting, well, judged. Part of this judgement process seems to be the bringing to light all the acts of the individual being judged. For some reason that just hit me really hard.

Think about it. You're there, your friends are all there, your family, your kids, wife, everyone. And they're sitting there watching a slideshow of your life. Not a Scrubs finale slideshow, but a hard core, gritty, dirty, filthy reel of every dark private moment, thought, feeling, and action to ever take place in your life.

That time you came to Church hung over, the time you laid down a profanity laced smack down on some poor soul, the times you swore at your parents, the mass of filthy internet sites you visit, the time you voted for Obama, the time you voted for Bush a second time, whatever. It all gets laid out there and there's no more, and I mean NO MORE secrets.

We all spend way too much time trying to hide our sin nature, instead of rooting it out. That's my conclusion. I know I do. Half of me is scared as hell of this coming judgement, but the other half absolutely cannot wait! Think about a time when you've had a sin you'd been covering up for a long time come to light. Think about that feeling in the pit of your stomach. Remember the way your head feels light and your knees start to feel weak? There's a split second where you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, you've been caught. After that, it might take a little bit to collect yourself, but then, if you're a Christian, the truth just comes spilling out.

Confession is a beautiful thing. Not in the Roman Catholic sense, where it's been trivialized and marginalized more than mob movies, but in the, "it doesn't mean anything, we just do it so we can go out and do it again. You sit in a box for 5 minutes and then a priest says, "Go forth and sin some more." Make your offering, say some trivial grouping of words to a non deity and you're through.

Real confession is what happens in those moments when you know for sure, the game is up. When it all comes pouring out and you face up to what you've done, or said, and take responsibility for what's happened, that's a beautiful thing. That's where there's true peace. You're not hiding anything. You're laid wide open for whoever to see. You realize, "they see!" you don't have to hide anything anymore. It's awful and lovely at the same time.

I'm convinced that over time, it takes a lot more effort to hid a sin, than to confess it.


P.S. I wrote this while listening to my new favorite band Quartetto Cetra. You should have been reading this while listening to the same thing.


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