I think the difference between being a kid and being an adult is the position from which you view the sky. It's odd that thought would float through my mind right now. I always wanted my final thoughts to be stirring, emotional or somehow life affirming. Instead, the only thing I can think about is how much bigger the world feels when you view the sky from your back.
10 minutes prior, none of this was on my mind. I was thinking about tweeting vaguely partisan sentiments about a recent stump speech I'd caught part of. It seemed paramount to make my voice heard on this subject. After all, 300 followers were probably patiently waiting to see where I'd come down on the issues. Oh yes, I'm that important. I pictured 300 people patiently waiting, phones lifted to glassy eyes. The blue glare from monitors reflecting off hundreds of neck-beards the nation over. I picked up my phone.
It's not really that hard to use your phone while you're driving. That's what God made knees for. I've been doing this for 15 years. It's not my first time steering a car with my knees. It's not my first time doing a lot of things I'm doing right now. Listening to a band nobody's ever heard of, thinking I'm cool, dangling a cigarette out my window....it's routine. Depressing, but routine.
Somewhere between wondering how to organize the image of Clint Eastwood standing in his yard yelling, "GET OFF MY LAWN," to his lawn-chairs into 140 characters and hitting the shuffle button on my iPad, I glance up. I let out half a laugh as I realize that it's true what they say. Your life really does flash before your eyes. Mainly the parts you're super ashamed of. That magazine you found in your Uncle's garage, the horrible things you said behind your sister's back, the resume you lied through your teeth on. It's all there.
Doing a flip on a trampoline is way, way different than doing a flip inside of a 1,883 pound automobile. However, the feeling in the pit of your stomach is exactly the same. Being flung out a broken window is no picnic, but then a lot of picnics are terrible affairs anyway. The ground is hot, but wet. The smell of old road tar washes up at me. I'll probably never smell it again. I guess that's a plus.
The world feels a lot bigger when you're looking at the sky from your back. In my peripheral view, what's left of it going gray, I see you. I wonder if you would have laughed. Probably. Clint Eastwood is a funny guy, after all.
10 minutes prior, none of this was on my mind. I was thinking about tweeting vaguely partisan sentiments about a recent stump speech I'd caught part of. It seemed paramount to make my voice heard on this subject. After all, 300 followers were probably patiently waiting to see where I'd come down on the issues. Oh yes, I'm that important. I pictured 300 people patiently waiting, phones lifted to glassy eyes. The blue glare from monitors reflecting off hundreds of neck-beards the nation over. I picked up my phone.
It's not really that hard to use your phone while you're driving. That's what God made knees for. I've been doing this for 15 years. It's not my first time steering a car with my knees. It's not my first time doing a lot of things I'm doing right now. Listening to a band nobody's ever heard of, thinking I'm cool, dangling a cigarette out my window....it's routine. Depressing, but routine.
Somewhere between wondering how to organize the image of Clint Eastwood standing in his yard yelling, "GET OFF MY LAWN," to his lawn-chairs into 140 characters and hitting the shuffle button on my iPad, I glance up. I let out half a laugh as I realize that it's true what they say. Your life really does flash before your eyes. Mainly the parts you're super ashamed of. That magazine you found in your Uncle's garage, the horrible things you said behind your sister's back, the resume you lied through your teeth on. It's all there.
Doing a flip on a trampoline is way, way different than doing a flip inside of a 1,883 pound automobile. However, the feeling in the pit of your stomach is exactly the same. Being flung out a broken window is no picnic, but then a lot of picnics are terrible affairs anyway. The ground is hot, but wet. The smell of old road tar washes up at me. I'll probably never smell it again. I guess that's a plus.
The world feels a lot bigger when you're looking at the sky from your back. In my peripheral view, what's left of it going gray, I see you. I wonder if you would have laughed. Probably. Clint Eastwood is a funny guy, after all.
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Go ahead and comment. Be as harsh as you like. My self esteem is usually much too high.