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This is important

I'm learning a lot of things and having a lot of things thrown at me as I start my own business.  I thought I would write about the most important lesson I've learned so far.

You cannot succeed, truly succeed, in life/business whatever, without the support of your wife.  If you're spending all your waking time trying to make a business work and your wife isn't 100% behind you, you're headed for failure.  Plain and simple.

Now, I'm writing this from the perspective of a human male, with a wife, but I'm sure the operation is the same if reversed.  Ladies, if you're considering a field to buy it, and your husband isn't behind the purchase with you, chances are that purchase is going to create some strife.

What I'm talking about here seems pretty common sense.  However, I think we assume it's common sense and don't think about it as much as we should.

If I am going to commit to making a business successful and profitable, I've got to have a solid plan and a vision for doing that.  We work hard to hammer these concepts out.  Spend countless hours researching target markets, competition, suppliers, vendors etc.  If you're doing all this on your own and not bouncing things of your spouse, getting her input, treating her like a partner, LISTENING to her suggestions, etc. then you're cart is planted firmly in front of your horse.

If you don't treat your spouse as a partner, as someone who is depending on your success as much as you are, if you're not enrolling them in your visions and plans, then you're only really putting 50% of yourself into what you're doing.  Your base is weak and will crumble under pressure.  It is inevitable.  Your business will fail, and it should, because you obviously don't care enough about it to build a partnership with both your hands.  You are quite literally being a half-ass about it.

You're not a whole person once you tie the knot.  And once you tie the knot, it's forever.  You are and always will be one half of a whole.  If your husband or wife dies, leaves, whatever, you don't go back to being a whole person.  You will always be missing that piece of you that you gave away when you fell in love and got married.  You left and you cleft, nothing can change that and I pray it doesn't.

Ladies, giving your support doesn't mean letting us do whatever we want.  Too many times, I talk to people who say, "oh yeah, my wife is fully supportive.  She lets me do exactly what I want."  Fully enrolling in a partnership means that you take and active roll in the success of the venture.  Affirmation, encouragement, advice, these are all things that need to be done regularly in order to achieve success.  You're also called to question some visions and plans and not let us get away with stuff.  Tough love.  This should hopefully be a rare thing.

If you find yourself starting every conversation on the defensive, or starting every conversation by putting someone on the defensive, I'd take a hard look at what it is your'e doing and how you're communicating.  Guys or Gals, if you need have a crucial conversation about something your spouse is trying to do with the business, you need to make sure the person you're talking to is able to listen and hear what you have to say.  You need to sow the seed of success in fertile ground.

Guys or Gals, if you're constantly being attacked, don't attack back.  Realize that the person across from you who can't fathom what it is you've just done, or what you're about to do, is only so upset because they want success just as much as you do and are extremely invested in your achievement.  (at least, assume that at first.)

The only way to achieve success is by having a Godly relationship with your spouse, FIRST.  If you're deficient there, you're going to be deficient everywhere.



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